No, nothing but my best, not good enough for you
'Cause nothing much is still too much to feel
Remember to forget, pretend you never knew
To beat the best and you don't leave a clue

No, nothing but the best was not enough for you
You wouldn't buy my pretty lie was true
But acting at the curtain fool is nothing new
Those little things that never leave a clue

If nothing but the best means nothing much to you
Don't count on me, just count me out, please, do
I'll never be your second best as others number two
One little thing that just won't let you choose

No, nothing but the best and nothing less will do
It's more or less that loneliness I knew
But you, you had me marked initials black and blue
Those little things that never laid a clue

                                            Serge Gainsbourg

I was looking into the fridge in search of my tuna cans...

a line of bold writings had jumped into my sight.

it was written on a bottle of mineral water 

'Thumper's drinking water'

 

Thumper is the son of Pamela, my villa mate. he is a big fluffy black rabbit. he is usually quiet except when Pam lets him out.

what he does outside the cage is only one thing, that is to find a foot of human being or something like that first,

and then try to make love to it. he seems to be extremely lazy in the cage yet unusually energitic with a human's foot.

 

Pam likes to hold Thumper in her fore arms sitting in the chair.

but that could not refrain him from this crazy movement which often makes Pam a bit embarrassed...

with a flush not so easy to notice, Pam said 'Thumper... it's never gonna happen between you and me.'

but Thumper is alreay lost in his glorious time outside the cage

 

 

今天我很无聊，于是打开qq的个人设置，发现个人说明里还是前年的内容，我当时考研政治比较郁闷，写了个“建设和谐黑社会...”

打算把后面的省略号内容去掉显得更简练有力，虽然绝对不希望国家被建设成大黑社会，只是本人觉得中国半个世纪以来长期坚持的口号文化有点好笑。

结果

系统提示了：“the server declined your request

                   信息包含受限词语，请检查所有项目”

 

好吧，那咱就“建设和谐白社会”吧——apply——the server has accepted your new information

看来server的眼睛是雪亮的，连个人说明都要正规合法

 

不知道今年的口号是什么呢？没有新闻联播，没有考研，我似乎脱离了党与时俱进的革命真理阿！

 

   《雨滴项链》是我很小很小的时候最喜欢的娃娃书，还记得是16开的大书。那时每当翻到最后一页都很愉快得如同结束一段曲折而美好的旅行。羡慕劳拉，历尽千辛万苦，最后能坐着阿拉伯公主送她的粉红贝壳做的帆船，带着北风教父送给她的雨滴项链，回到自己的家乡。

    这个小女孩，出身贫穷，父亲的善行得到神的回赠——一条魔力随着劳拉年龄而增长的雨滴项链。劳拉每年都能得到的生日礼物就是一个新的雨滴，当时我认为那就是神圣的仪式，劳拉从一个弱小的女孩慢慢变得有了力量。但是幸福也不是一帆风顺的，她在项链被偷之后遭遇了连串的困境。她伤心得寻找着她身上唯一一件珍贵的礼物。当她终于遇到阿拉伯公主，看到她的项链在她脖子上——我每次看到这段就不由得跟劳拉一起委屈得厉害。在最后关头，劳拉的一滴眼泪变成了项链上的一颗新的雨滴，她的魔力得以证实项链的真正归属。

    如今我在迪拜的沙滩上看到这里的确有不少粉红的贝壳，很鲜艳的粉红色，如同着蜡。20年前的记忆被唤醒。我觉得《雨滴项链》是我第一次听说世界上有‘阿拉伯’这个地方，我还向往着看看神奇的宫殿和公主的那一大堆新奇的礼物。童年时期的幻想阿，如今变成了现实！！！不少联系也浮上心头：我方才知道这是一个英国童话，也许是因为这里曾经是英属殖民地；为什么劳拉的魔力会是让老天下雨，因为这里就是一年到头没什么雨，雨真的是珍贵；为什么贝壳帆船是粉红的，因为这贝壳真有鲜艳明朗的粉红色，如果能造一座帆船，不知有多漂亮。

    雨滴项链的故事仿佛是我冥冥之中的人生预言。也许童话故事能有这样的奇特效果，幼年的时候，我没有去过其他地方，是书籍带着我游历着天涯海角，看完一本书，真是如同结束一次丰富而曲折的旅行，我合上书，深深得呼吸一口空气，再默默得心爱得抚摸着书皮，在脑海里图画对人生，对世界的美好梦想。梦想成真的时刻，再回想起童话，禁不住内心喷涌出奇妙的感动。

    那么谁还留着这本书？

    在网上找到琼·艾肯的英文短篇原著，和大家分享：

A NECKLACE OF RAINDROPS
by Joan Aiken

A man called Mr Jones and his wife lived near the sea. One stormy night Mr jones was in his garden when he saw he holly tree by his gate begin to toss and shake.

A voice cried,

"Help me! I'm stuck in the tree! Help me, or the storm will go on all night."

Very surprised, Mr Jones walked down to the tree. In the middle of it was a tall man with a long grey cloak, and a long grey beard, and the brightest eyes you ever saw.

"Who are you?" Mr Jones said. "What are you doing in my Holly tree?"

"I got stuck in it, can't you see? Help me out, or the storm will go on all night. I am the North Wind, and it is my job to blow the storm away."

So Mr Jones helped the North Wind out of the holly tree. The North Wind's hands were as cold as ice.

"Thank you" said the North Wind. "My cloak is torn, but never mind. You have helped me, so now I will do somethign for you."

"I don't need anything." Mr Jones said. "My wife and I have a baby girl, just born, and we are as happy as any two people in the world."

"In that case," said the North Wind, "I will be the baby's godfather. My birthday present to her will be this necklace of raindrops."

From under his grey cloak he pulled out a fine, fine silver chain. On the chain were three bright, shining drops.

"You must put this around the baby's neck," he said "The raindrops will not wet her, and they will not come off. Every year on her birthday, I will bring her another drop. When she has four drops she will stay dry, even when she goes out in the hardest rainstorm. And when she has five drops no thunder or lightning can harm her. And when she has six drops she will not be blown away, even by the strongest wind. And when she has seven raindrops she will be able to swim the deepest river. And when she has eight raindrops she will be able to swim the widest sea. And when she has nine raindrops she will be able to make the rain stop raining if she claps her hands. And when she has ten raindrops she will be able to make is start raining if she blows her nose.

"Stop, stop!" cried Mr Jones "That is quite enough for one little girl!"

"I was going to stop anyway," said the North Wind. "Mind she must never take the chain off, or it will bring bad luck. I must be off now, to blow away the storm. I shall be back on her next birthday with the fourth raindrop."

And he flew away up into the sky, pushing the clouds before him so that the moon and stars could shine out.

Mr Jones went into the house and put the chain with the three raindrops round the neck of the baby, who was called Laura.

A year soon went by, and when the North Wind came back to the little house by the sea, Laura was able to crawl about, and to play with her three bright, shining raindrops. But she never took the chain off.

When the North Wind had given Laura her fourth raindrop she could not get wet, even if she was out in the hardest rain. Her mother would put her out in the garden in her pram, and people passing by would say

"Look at that poor little baby, left out in all this rain. She will catch cold!"

But little Laura was quite dry and quite happy, playing with her raindrops and waving to her godfather the North Wind as he flew over.

Next year he brought her her fifth raindrop. And the year after that, the sixth. And the year after that the seventh. Now Laura could not be harmed by the worst storm, and if she fell into a pond or river she floated like a feather. And when she had eight raindrops she was able to swim across the widest sea - but as she was happy at home she never tried.
And when she had nine raindrops Laura found that she could make the rain stop by clapping her hands. So there were many, many sunny days by the sea.
But Laura did not always clap her hands when it rained, for she loved to see the silver drops come sliding out of the sky.

Now it was time for Laura to go to school. You can guess how the other children loved her! They would call,

"Laura Laura, make it stop raining please so that we can go out and play."

And Laura always made the rain stop for them.

But there was a girl called Meg who said to herself

'It isn't fair. Why shoudl Laura have that lovely necklace and be able to stop the rain? Why shouldn't I have it?'

So Meg went to the teacher and said,

"Laura is wearing a necklace."

Then the teacher said to Laura

"You must take your necklace off in school, dear. That is the rule."

"But it will bring bad luck if I take it off." Said Laura.

"Of course it will not bring bad luck. I will put it in a box for you and keep it safe till after school."

So the teacher put the necklace in a box.

But Meg saw where she put it. And when the children were out playing and the teacher was having dinner, Meg went quickly and took the necklace and put it in her pocket.

When the teacher found that the necklace was gone, she was very angry and sad.

"Who has taken Laura's necklace?" She asked.

But nobody answered.

Meg kept her hand tight in her pocket, holding the necklace.

And poor Laura cried all the way home. Her tears rolled down her cheeks like rain as she walked along by the sea.

"Oh," she cried "what will happen when I tell my godfather that I have lost his present?"

A fish put his head out of the water and said,

"Don't cry, Laura dear. you put me back in the sea when a wave threw me on the sand. I will help you find your necklace."

And a bird flew down and called,

"Don't cry Laura dear. You saved me when a storm blew me on to your roof and hurt my wing. I will help you find your necklace."

And a mouse popped his head out of a hole and said

"Don't cry Laura dear. You saved me once when I fell in a river. I will help you find your necklace."

So Laura dried her eyes

"How will you help me?." she asked.

"I will look under the sea" said the fish "and I will ask my brothers to help me."

"I will fly about and look in the fields and the woods and the roads," said the bird "and I will ask my brothers to help me."

"I will look in the houses," said the mouse "And I will ask my brothers to look in every corner and closet of every room in the world."

So they set to work.

While Laura was talking to her three friends, what was Meg doing?

She put on the necklace and walked out in a rainstorm. But the rain made her very wet! And when she clapped her hands to stop it raining, the rain took no notice. It rained harder than ever.

The necklace would only work for its true owner.

So Meg was angry. But she still wore the necklace, until her father saw her with it on.

"Where did you get that necklace?" he asked.

"I found it in the road," Meg said.

Which was not true!

"It is too good for a child." her father said. And he took it away from her.

Meg and her father did not know that a little mouse could see them from a hole in the wall.

The mouse ran to tell his friends that the necklace was in Meg's house and ten more mice came back with him to drag it away. But when they got there, the necklace was gone. Meg's father had sold it, for a great deal of money, to his silversmith. Two days later, a little mouse saw it in the silversmith's shop, and ran to tell his friends. But before the mice could come to take it, the silversmith had sold it to a trader who was buying fine and rare presents for the birthday of the Princess of Arabia.

Then a bird saw the necklace and flew to tell Laura.

"The necklace is on a ship, which is sailing across the sea to Arabia."

"We will follow the ship." Said the fishes. "We will tell you which way it goes. Follow us!"

But Laura stood on the edge of the sea.

"How can I swim all that way without my necklace?" she cried.

"I will take you on my back," said a dolphin. "You have often thrown me good things to eat when I was hungry."

So the dolphin took her on his back, and the fishes went on in front, adn the birds flew above, andafter many days they came to Arabia.

"Now where is the necklace?" Called the fishes to the birds.

"The King of Arabia has it. He is going to give it to the Princess for her birthday tomorrow."

"Tomorrow is my birthday too," said Laura. "Oh, what will ym godfatehrsay when he comes to give me my tenth raindrop and finds that I have not got the necklace?"

The birds led Laura into the King's garden. and she slept all night under a palm tree. the grass was all dry, and the flowers were all brown, because it was so hot, and had not rained for a year.

Next morning, the Princess came into the garden to open her presents. She had many lovely things: A flower that could sing, and a cage full of birds with green and silver feathers; a book that she could read forever because it had no last page, and a cat who could play cat's cradle; a silver dress of spiderwebs and a gold dress of goldfish scales; a clock with a real cuckoo to tell the time, and a boat made out of a great pink shell. And among all the other presents was Laura's necklace.

When Laura saw the necklace she ran out from under the palm tree and cried

"Oh, please, that necklace is mine!"

The King of Arabia was angry.

"Who is this girl?" he said. "Who let her into my garden? Take her away and drop her in the sea!"

but the Princess, who was small and pretty, said ,

"Wait a minute, Papa," and to Laura she said, "How do you know it is your necklace?"

"Because my godfather gave it to me! When I am wearing it I can go out in the rain without getting wet, no storm can harm me, I can swim any river and any sea, and I can make the rain stop raining."

"But can you make it start to rain?" Said the King.

"Not yet," Said Laura "Not till my godfather gives me the tenth raindrop."

"If you can make it rain, you shall havethe necklace," said the King "For we badly need rain in this country."

But Laura was sad, because she could not make it rain till she had her tenth raindrop.

Just then The North Wind came flying into the King's garden.

"There you are, god-daughter!" he said. "I have been looking all over the world for you, to give you your birthday present. Where is your necklace?"

"The Princess has it," Said poor Laura.

Then the North wind was angry.

"You should not have taken it off!" He said. And he dropped the raindrop onto the dry grass where it was lost. Then he flew away. Laura started to cry.

"Don't cry," Said the kind little Princess "You shall have the necklace back, for I can see it is yours." And she put the chain over Laura's head. As soon as she did so, one of Laura's tears ran down and hung on the necklace beside the nine raindrops, making ten. Laura started to smile, she dried her eyes and blew her nose. And , guess what! as soon as she blew her nose, the rain began falling! It rained and it rained, the trees spread out their leaves, and the flowers stretched their petals, they were so happy to have a drink.

At last Laura clapped her hands to stop the rain.

The King of Arabia was very pleased.

"That is the finest necklace I have ever seen," he said. "will you come and stay with us every year, so that we have enough rain?" And Laura said she woudl do this.

Then they sent her home in the Princess's boat, made out of a pink shell. And the birds flew overhead, and the fishies swam in front.

"I am happy to have my necklace back," said Laura "But I am even happier to have so many friends."

...

what happened to Meg? The mice told the North Wind that she had taken Laura's necklace. And he came adn blew the roof off her hosue and let in the rain, so she was SOAKING WET!

今天突然想起打开空间，看了上回日志的时间，9月6日，现在是12月6日，正好三个月，加上八月的十天，赶上个百日纪念。

 

————————————————

今晚dy买了新的摄像头，另一端是两年前生活的场景，dy说，什么也没变，都是你走之前的样子。墙上的牛皮纸，closer的海报里四个严肃的脸孔，弗里达怪诞的自画像，小花狗童年的相片，我用过的藤编笔筒……我突然觉得自己像一个死去的人浏览生前的环境一般透过一个针孔浏览过去存在的空间。然而过去存在的现在依然存在，dy在现实里为我演绎形而上的逻辑。

 

————————————————

是因为迪拜还是……？我从深处体会这的人都有死去之前的状态——亢奋而又手足无措，找不到平衡的支点。穆斯林无调的祷告声充满了空旷遥远凄惨的感觉，让人不由担心亡灵的去向，似乎与阳光鲜花无关，代之的是永恒的黑暗和寒冷。

 

————————————————

上海是那么的生动。离去百日，已成怀念。但是上海没有真实的爱，只有灯火阑珊中他人的陌路欢情。

 

————————————————

而我珍爱的那一寸生命中的光阴绕过上海，穿过那一线针孔照进迪拜，突然显得那么强烈。我正了正椅子，想象下一次从回国的飞机上醒来，想象迪拜梦结束的那一天，

 

————————————————

我会不会像怀念重庆和上海一般怀念迪拜？

 

 

 

dear friends,
i am in Dubai already for four days...i feel like still in a dream!
especially when i am in the supermarket, that's nightmare, everything in
English and Arabic, i feel so hungry...i hate foreign languages more than
ever! lol
the weather is unbelievably hot! during the noon, going outside, i feel if i
were breathing fire into my nose. but staying indoor is fine, and sometimes
cold. there's airconditioning in every building.
i saw camels while i went to Liwa( a place at the border between UAE and
Saudi Arabia)  with some friends. yeah, camels in the wild sand desert,
that's beautiful. i will send you pics when i have my own computer.
i start to work yesterday, with people from over 35 countries! here are a
lot of people from the middle east region as well as some of east europe.
there are many muslims, christians and an american jew(he dares not tell
that aloud). they are all curious about why i am there. and they all want to
know how is their names in chinese! :)
i'm in a group crowded with lebanese staffs. lebanese speaks french, maybe i
can learn some more french additionally. the PM is an american born Korean.
he speaks very fast and very american english. he says 'shit' very often on
everything he does, and then laugh very loudly. i'm sure he doesn't know
what he is talking about.
i'm doing a project of Oman...i sware i know nothing about this country at
all! pray for me!

so far it is..i will write you soon!
best regards...........kiss kiss kiss...!

Xiaoyin

 

第一个梦，我像一大片深绿色的水藻，柔缓得舒展着，律动着身体，像它们在水里，没有呼吸，只需要跟水无间得交换着能量。总像是出发，又像是回归。全世界仿佛有一极，显示为一个怀抱，它能照见自己完全的世界。可是现实里却总想远离它，去一级一级得追寻真实的褪尽，到达另一极。

 

 

 

第二个梦，我们各居其所，但在一个城市。我想约见一起晚饭，对方应允。坐上公交，很兴奋，很兴奋，很兴奋... ...看到窗外的景色——上海？重庆？成都？重庆？上海？... ... 我在哪里？一个声音告诉我，火车要开28小时，我不是在公交上？？我在做梦？？我说服自己不是在做梦，并且马上能见到想见的人，马上能被揽入一个久违的怀抱。车开了很久，很久，我失去了耐心。答案是模棱两可的，我们似乎相见了，很热烈，但是我像失去了一半的知觉，失去了一半的行动力，浑身发软，我不能拥抱，甚至不能站立... ...我沉入地下，我很不情愿得瘫软了下去，像一滩泥土，列车上人来人往，踩在我身上，鞋底蹭出唧唧的声音，有一个人说：火车要开28小时才能到重庆... ...一切恢复到梦境的错乱。

 

 

在第二个梦里我做了第一个梦。